Hahaha!
You're a great guy too, Bill... and great thread idea!!
I kind of feel like I'm Stingray5's doppelganger here... I have an almost identical story to his with my late 80's MIJ jazz bass.
Before I had the Fender, I had a Cort, and a Martin "Stinger" bass... so the Fender was my first "immediately recognizable" branded bass.
Bill will be happy to know that the very first mod that I did to it was a Hipshot D-Tuner... I meant to tell this story when we talked, but got distracted... Anyway, I saw an ad for them in Bass Player and saved for weeks to get one. I think it might have been '89 or '90 when I got one...? I still use them to this day... I have one on my CS Jazz Bass.
Then the pickguard came off...
Those mods, I don't regret... but here's where it starts to get interesting.
Next, I made a Christmas wish-list from StewMac and ordered a Schaller Roller-Bridge and two Fender Lace Sensor bridge pickups.
Since they were both bridge pickups, the local hack music store routed out the neck pickup hole a little to get it to fit. It wasn't abysmal, but it wasn't exactly pretty. And, since the Schaller bridge didn't have the "standard" 5-hole matchup, a couple of bridge holes were drilled to get it to fit.
After that, came the downward spiral into the abyss of complete regret...
I am a product of the 80's... with the 80's came the shredders... with the shredders came Billy Sheehan... and with Billy Sheehan came scalloped fingerboards.
So I got my dad's Dremel and proceded to take it to the fingerboard... making a nice fat channel underneath the D and G strings from the 17th to the 20th fret.
Yeah... I know.
Then, years later, thinking I would somehow find a beautifully figured wood grain hidden on my bass, I sanded all the finish off the FRONT ONLY and exposed the AMAZING basswood underneath.
Yeah... I know.
THEN...
I did a HORRIBLE job pulling the frets filling the slots with wood putty...
Yes...
I said PUTTY...
By the time all that had happened, I bought an Ibanez ATK and had completely moved on from the one bass where I basically learned everything I know.
Here's an old pic of me in my half-mullet with my parents at my first "big gig"... a benefit show for MS, down at a park by the St. Lawrence river.
I tried replacing the bass a few years ago with a '96 MIJ... but eventually sold it to a fellow board member because I wasn't able to recapture the love for it that I once had.
So... there's my embarrassing story... hope you noobs learn from it!!!